There is nothing foul or fair in war and love!


Love and war have no qualm

Lover and warrior have no calm

Loving, warring for a realm

To kiss the palm or to cut the palm.

 

Foul and fair never antonyms

In war and love they are synonyms

For the nature is to wage war always

As love is the core of existence.

 

Arjuna saw no foul to kill kin

When Krsna called it his vocation

Love , life’s, emotion’s avocation

None but the brave can  go on to win!

The bloody flower of love and war blooms

Irrespective of the foul, fair scruples.

 

 

 

 

 

 

FINE LINE SEPARATING REALITY FROM DREAM….


The bus halted with a shrieking sound. I looked around to see why there was delay. Some vehicles parking on both sides of the road had well nigh blocked the road. I alighted from the bus as I thought it would take some time to extricate the stagnant motor flow. The house on the right side of the road had a gathering of a couple of dozen people. The cars on the road outnumbered the people in the house. I was agitated to know that a small private function in a house had caused all the havoc. For us it has been a matter of pride to cause traffic blockade even for the silliest event. I was itching to speak out my pent up feelings against the people who had assembled there. Mustering up courage I went into the gate, reached out the courtyard where men and women were partying.
I wanted to shout at them….but there I saw a girl, nay a woman, clad like a bride sitting there amidst others in royal elegance. I could not believe my eyes….I shuddered back in utter disbelief. It was that girl who was for me once more than my life. She sat there in her celestial, blissful innocence, sans raising her countenance. I stood there for a while in a nonplussed condition. Within moments of uneasiness of giddiness I regained my senses to recognize that the girl was about to step foot into the new phase+ of her life. I was both happy and unhappy to see her getting married. Happy because after all her bitter experience from me she had come to the right decision; unhappy that she is losing for good. I was already married, still I did not like to see her married to another man.
In spite of all the sea of commotion waving in my mind I was able to remain unnoticed by others. Nobody could feel the presence of a stranger, though it was a small gathering. As the girl still remained motionless in her royal coyness, there arrived the Prince of the day. He alighted from his posh car with his mom and dad. The very sight of the man had suffocated my whole being. He was my class mate, nay, our classmate. We three were together in our P.G. classes. He was with her from her school days. He had got such a lng standing relationship with her, which had now consummated into a wedlock. I ws an exasperated man to see all this, rather unexpectedly. I am an uninvited person, a lone traveler waiting at the periphery to view the heartbreaking nuptial ceremony.
I was to him an invader to his dreams right from the word go. There was venom in his mind reserved for me. He was about to avenge me by marrying the girl I once had deeper relationship. If he saw me what would happen, I had no idea. The lady, the first love of my love, in the mean time, cast a glance ith the corner of her eyes, besieging me to go away without creating a scene. I was a mad man by then, did not heed to her earnest appeals. My friend, the groom sat near my erstwhile love. They exchanged lovely, glances; they smiled; they almost caressed. I was boiling with passion to see all this. For a while, I forgot everything about myself, that I was married…that I had been a liar and a cheat to her…. And that again I was poking my head to make her life worse.
I looked around to see whether there were any one who could recognize me. I was shocked to see a few of my classmates standing around me, as if to get hold of me if I acted foolishly. At this juncture I took the decision to retract. While I was about to do so I saw my bridegroom friend giving some instructions to a confidant classmate of his. No sooner than that a few strong men got hold of me forcefully. I began to shake them off with all might…in the process I almost gave out a wild roar of anguish and anger.
By then I heard the coarse voice of someone who has been there with me for quite a long time. She had come out of her sound sleep… Nay, she was awakened by my loud roar of anguish and anger. I was found myself lying flat on the floor, sweating feverishly. My wife was upset to hear me roar and see me taking a wild plunge from the cot to the flat floor. She asked me in agony, “what was that dear? What had really happened? She almost had a fear that I was about to have a massive cardiac arrest. The night was longer as there was no more sleep possible for me. I hugged her closer to me and almost wept.
In the morning freshness I tried to rethink what had really happened last night… Was it a dream? Was there a speck of reality behind that. Not in my memory, not in this life of mine. Then why such a nightmare now, I wondered. As usual I set out to my office through the same place where the drama dream sequence had taken place. There I saw a house, but a bigger one. There was a huge gathering. A marriage is going to be solemnized there soon. Good sense advised me not to get down, but emotion prevailed over wisdom. I got down, went into the courtyard. There I saw a middle-aged woman standing there with her husband. Their daughter was getting married. I was ushered into the reception like a V.I.P. Who was that woman? The girl of yesterday’s nightmare had turned a middle-aged woman? I stared at her husband…Was he my my villai, the classmate…… I was totally confused. I wanted to get out and to get lost into the crowd bustling to enter into the feast hall.

A Hunting Dream.


A hunting dream haunting,

Taking me to the sweet bitterness

Of life yet again, am I falling

To the pitfalls despite in soberness

Of the danger lurking beneath .

Alas! I am falling to bottomless  depths!

I am falling on to the thorns of love

Frightened am I to fall yet again

I am tired of yet another fall ..

Save me, is there no one ?

Pooh, Pooh! That was a nightmare

I saw wherein my last love again

Sobbing, soliciting once more….

Nay dear I am too shrewd to fall now

I know thee more than I know me

I cannot be a victim of you  yet again

You, la bell dame sans merci.

AN ODE TO YOU !


Only You know who you are
Others guessing who You are,
‘You may be this, You may be that’
I know You are neither this nor that.

You are the core of my life
Wherefrom the lifeblood gushes
Days come days go off my life
You remain red-hot in ambers.

You grow with time in me
Your abode is in my doom
conversing softly, you and me
Like the mom and baby in womb.

The baby removing the shell
Breaking the chord umbilical
Hurrying to embrace its own doom
Leaving mom lonely in labor room.

Infatuation non-stop…


Seeing in a tired sluggish walk
Turned My eyes to the face weak
Eyes quickly catching the wound
Making restive to see the forehead.

Alas! My heart bleeding to know
What, how, when it all happened
Breaching all my determined vow
Feverishly yet hopefully messaged.

Like a man addicted to drinking
Taking vow to eschew drinking
Keeping dry for a few days
Taking to drinking unawares.

Or like a fly seeing the fire
Thinking it a star fast approaches
Finally set ablaze alive in fire
Leaving all wisdom of experience.

I hope next time while I stop contacting
I could stop for good and never to resume
Let my next vow not be that of the drunkard
Who stops drinking only to strongly to resume.

( This poem is written remembering my college days when I used to be a restless lover….When all my solicitations fell on deaf ears…and when she angrily asked me not to follow disturbing her…. I had to take a vow never to go after her, disturbing her. The vow had only a life of one week. I used to take such vows umpteen times thereafter, like a drunkard who takes vow to eschew drinking, invariably comes back to drinking time and again… Love, like drinking is an addiction… I stop loving (drinking) only to restart the same with more life and vigor. Though it is not a sin to love, I beg your pardon if I have, in the process, hurt your feelings.)

GIVING SANS RECEIVING.


Giving, giving and only giving
Still receiving only nothing
The more I give the less I receive
The more you receive the less you give.

When everything is given for nothing
In return, the giving is pain, biting
Into the core where pain is at zenith
Oh! I bleed! Give me to postpone death.

My giving sans receiving tends
To lower my value in your life
Still my giving goes on sans bounds
Till the last breath of my life!

True Love never wanes,in time’s flow
True Love ever waxes overtaking the flow.

SO NEAR…SO FAR AWAY!


So near, still so far away,
Heaviness makes my crest fall,
With diffidence I go away
Thanks to my spirits’ in-depth fall.

Awaiting a change bringing joy
For I see light in the yonder skies
Let days and months go sans joy,
Happy to live hoping good morrows.

Moments of joyful love giving way
To agony, making all love at bay
Joyful Moments were there in life
The cute messages ending the strife.

Messages sent not expecting a reply
Still enjoyed the act of selfless sending
Though longing, without expecting reply
I am fallen into abysmal depths, crying!

Limited love though can cross limit
For Love unlimited infinity, the limit
Love sans conditions knowing no limit
Never taking, only giving peaceful light.

The lightness of life spent in togetherness
The silly, jovial jokes, unforgettable….
The yearning to know every moment’s happenings
The burning desire to receive a token lovable!

INDELIBLE CANCER OF LOVE.


Indelible cancer of love spreading
Eating into the vitality of his being
Took chemo and radiation to no avail
Quickening the spreading to every cell.

Deleted though the number from mobile,
Alas! is saved and green in memory
For man cannot delete old memory
As though he were a machine or mobile.

Every now and then he expecting a call
Or a message, dejected to hear different.
“I do not love you” resounding a death knell
Stunning his resources inactive, incompetent.

DEAR LOVE, ONCE I ADDRESSED YOU AS A TREE AND NOW AS A CANCER…I AM INCONSISTENT AND RESTIVE, FEELING INCAPABLE OF FINDING THE RHYTHM……..
Love HER and lose HER? yes… It’s better to have loved and lost than to not love at all.

TREE OF LOVE.


Bend it if you so wish, never break it,
You too watered it, nurtured it,
For it gave cool shade to hot life,
For it gave food for fresh life.

The hand which watered breaking!
When the hand should be plucking,
Enjoying flowers and fruits
Now raising agony and heartbeats.

The tree of Love perishing abruptly
For no reason of its own, unkindly.
You may well water other trees though
Sans breaking the love-tree’s golden bough.

ETHICS OF LOVE.


UPRIGHTNESS:
Solicit your wish straightaway without inhibition. The person solicited shall not feel any ill-feeling to the person who has solicited.
SINCERITY:
Be sincere to the core in transactions. There shall not be anything unrevealed as far as the question of existence of love between the two.
BOLDNESS IN REJECTING SOLICITATION:
One shall be bold and straightforward in rejecting a love request. The occasion of rejection shall not be prolonged.The rejection shall be final. It must not be prompted by vulnerable moods.
NEVER ASK THE REJECTED LOVER TO BE A TRUE FRIEND:
The rejected lover is unfailingly in a mood of gloom and it is the unkindest conduct of the other party to ask him to be a good friend.The rejection of love is poignant and the request to be a good friend is insulting.
A father will irrevocably be a father:similarly a lover will always be a lover, irrespective of the fact whether he is accepted as such by the other party. A father, of course, can be a friend also:similarly a Lover can be a friend also, a loving friend.
THE CODE OF CONDUCT FOR A REJECTED LOVER:
He shall not disturb her from the very moment in which he has been rejected.No message, no phone call. He cannot be a good friend as it is not easy to turn on and off from Love Mode to Friend Mode and vice versa. This is because man is not a machine.
At any event there shall not be rivalry between the two.
CONTINUE LOVING:
In spite of rejection the lover must continue loving her unconditionally WITHOUT GUZZA and without disturbing the loved one, better without even that being known to the loved one. Let the loved one live happily and peacefully.
LET HIS SWEET-DREAM NOT BE HER NIGHTMARE ANY MORE…..