The Wise, the Intelligent and the Fool.


The Wise, the Intelligent and the Fool.

The mood set in by loneliness in the Apartment in Salmiya, Kuwait appears to have reformed me to philosophical, contemplative temperament. I cannot refer to loneliness alone for the shift from laziness to pensiveness. The shift in mood has also been due to the news from home about the illness of my mother. I was too homesick to sleep for a few days. I was at a loss and suffocated by my incapacity in getting my mom on the phone. For a while I even cursed the moment wherein I had chosen to decide about the Kuwait journey. I thought my presence might have led to her early recovery. See friends, I was in a fix as I couldn’t fly home all on a sudden since the return ticket was on 8th of May and I was otherwise  positively bound to discharge the official duty assigned to me by my employer.

This is the time for a bit of philosophical rumination. My mind is preoccupied with ideas on wisdom, intelligence and idiocy. The ideas do not come on their own abruptly in a flash or like a lightning from the heavens. The ideas are formed as seeds…on appropriate terrain it sprouts, grows up into a tree with flowers, fruits which are yet again ready to deliver seeds… The movement is cyclic though the individual entities change. Nature always is cyclic as our own planet which has got an oval shape. Without taking a U-turn we can ultimately come to the point wherefrom we had started. In other words, the starting point and the destination point can be one and the same.

Then what is the soil on which the ideas eventually have dropped on! I really have taken note from my own experience that I am not seriously received by others; I mean according to the merit and desert I think I am eligible for. For example, whenever I use to warn my friends or relatives about the repercussions of taking a particular step they are ordinarily to brush aside my advice. They take the other route and on many occasions they are found to meet with hardships. I have only sympathy for those who disregard me. I am though not happy with their acrimony to me on account of their failures, which were wholly irrespective of me and principally respective of them. With every such mishap and failure they become more and more inimical, as if I were responsible for their misfortunes. In no way was I responsible for their falls. I from my experiences or from the experiences of others have learnt good and bitter lessons of life. These experiences and the lessons therefrom I think I have come to be less foolish. I never though claim myself as wise as only the fools think that they are wise. I am more commonsensical than I was, say, before a decade. I will never claim that I have the rare excellence of commonsense inherent in me. I also hold the view that “common” sense indeed is a rare virtue.

The faculty of predicting the future problems of a particular step is not god given or supernatural. It is, conversely, due to the strength of experiences and the lessons I have learnt therefrom. Then, if so how could I harness the horse of experiences and derive and acquire the rare faculty. Yes I will say: By being silent, listening, memorizing (not mechanical, like a parrot) and by practicing. What I refuse and am reluctant to do is teaching others the lessons I have learnt. I cannot teach lessons of life. One has to undergo himself/herself through the heat and fire, the very ordeal. Only that will bring about the change for the better. Advice is the last option as it is the most hated thing for too many. Of course I do give advices sometimes as clues to avoid future problems for the benefit of the receivers, especially when they are the intimate, close-to-heart ones, despite the invariable aftermath of me becoming the victim of my own good intentions.

 

As a rule, I am not predisposed to making watertight divisions about human conduct and realities of life, in general. Anyhow, referring to the foregoing paragraph I am venturing to deviate from my nature. I am to make a broad (never watertight!) classification between the Wise, the Intelligent and the Simpleton! The persons who learn lessons from the experience of others is a wise person; the persons who learn experiences from his own experiences are intelligent persons; and those persons who are not even able to learn any lesson from their own experiences are indeed fools! This is not a watertight compartmentalization. Still it is an indicator to fix one’s status.

The reality of life is that no one has walked on earth without falling. Humans have learnt the faculty of standing erect and walking through many a fall. That is why they say, “Failures are Pillars of Success”. Hence, listen silently, patiently, memorize what you have listened to, put into practice the lessons you have learnt from your experience and of the ones of others as well. If you have passed out all the stages successfully you ultimately are qualified to teach the lessons of life to others.

Advice? Me? Yes: why not!

“Never ignore clues, namely, the indicators and signals on the road.”

“Never blame the Postman for a bad letter.”

 

 

 

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Dutiful Work and Beautiful Life!


 

Dutiful Work and Beautiful Life!

There is the tradition in Ayurveda thereby every treatment is initiated by giving medicine for complete emptying of the bowels. I am purified by Mr. Smirnoff and all the impurities are now out, thanks to the spirits in Mr. Smirnoff. I have a new day at hand in Kuwait. I am quite new to the life and habits here and I, therefore, have to begin afresh. Every Examination day I have to get ready sharply at 7 a.m. when Mr. Tanveer, the staffer of Universal Institute for Private Training, arrives at my apartment in Salmiya which is located near the City Center mall. With no or little sleep during the night and no rest during the last couple of days, I am a bit worn out and shabby in order to take up the job at the Off Campus Center.

By the time I have done all the nippy morning duties Mr. Tanveer has arrived to take me first to the Vegetarian hotel, “Uduppi”. Seeing vada-sambar and Idli my nausea has given way to saliva. After the sumptuous breakfast, by 7.20 we reach the Center. Lo! There are Ms. Fatima, Asha, Danesh to receive me. My first impression is the best impression, especially the warmth, the resourcefulness of Ms. Fatima! The Indian Embassy Officer Mr. SanjivSakalani who is already there with the question paper packets indeed looks like a very friendly person to chat with. Every one of them behaves as experienced experts in their respective duties. There are only a handful of candidates to take the supplementary examinations. I am hurt to note that the regular off campus programs outside the university jurisdiction have been struck down by a far-reaching university order.

I say far-reaching university order, because I, by the very first day itself, have come to experience how earnestly people here are craving for doing courses of M.G (Mahatma Gandhi University, Kottayam). Almost every phone call at the Center is concerning enquiries about joining courses of M.G. The reason is that the people in Kuwait, especially, Indian, Bengali, even middle-east repatriates or expatriates and N.R.I’s prefer M.G. to other Indian universities. They, with reluctance and displeasure, are constrained to join courses of Mysore or Calicut Universities. Now I wonder why M.G. alone follows meticulously the bizarre upshots of litigations while others still continue to run Off Campus institutions beyond their territorial jurisdiction! From my experience in regard to the enthusiasm displayed by the stake-holders to join my university, I have learnt that Mahatma Gandhi University positively enjoys the approbation of the whole world, thanks to its unique name “Mahatma Gandhi”.

The Examination started at 7.30 a.m. (Indian Time- 10 a.m.) and I have completed the related work well in time. Actually everything goes smooth and hassle free, far better than in most of the affiliated colleges of the universities in Kerala. While sitting idle I use to overhear the classes going on there. The classes are apparently engaged by faculty of high quality and experience. I think my guesswork cannot go wrong as their beautiful English, uncompromising pronouncing skills and stylish accent really are quite illuminating their credentials and talents as pedagogue. The picture of reality is far from the overestimated allegations of commercialization and malpractices. It is quite a classified truth that some of the self-financing colleges in Kerala are more commercialized and a few of them reportedly not having qualms even to abet copying malpractices during university examinations. Right from the days of my first acquaintance with Off Campus Institutions in 2004 as section officer of Off Campus Tabulation Section to the date of  the promulgation of the recent university order striking down the institutions I never or ever had the slightest apprehension of such an abrupt closure. I constantly had a notion that Off Campus Institutions would stand there as far as the University is there!

With the exception of the above unenviable future prospects of M.G. Off Campus Centers, I am a happy man. The accommodation, food, transportation, etc. are “ash-posh”. My primary concern was my vegetarian ways. This has been well rejoined by the Uduppi Hotel nearby. In short, I have to note that by the first day itself I am on the right track sans any friction or hardship, whatsoever. I look forward to the same degree of rapport and smoothness in the days ahead too in respect of my work and life as well, here in Kuwait. I hope that the first impression which indeed has been the best one will carry on to retaining the same pitch throughout. The work is certainly to be engaged dutifully, the life too is hopefully to be spent, buoyantly, beautifully!

[i]  The repercussions of the order are, indeed, far reaching. This may be understood only by knowing the concerns and grievances of the students, alumni and other stake-holders in Kuwait who want to see the retention of the institution as an Off Campus center of Mahatma Gandhi University, Kottayam. I have acquired this collective knowledge through informal chats with the staff here, the students and other visitor.  Let me enumerate them, one by one:

  1. It is reliably learnt that Off Campus Centres of other Indian Universities having recognition of U.G.C. are still conducting Courses/ Programs in Kuwait.
  2. In today’s world of technological advancement, the question of territorial jurisdiction may not be made a reason for closure of Off Campus Centre of Kuwait, since the world has shrunken to a global village within the World Wide Web. In this respect, it is relevant to note that many of the high profile western universities and a few of the Indian Universities as well have switched over to online mode, rather irrespective of the territorial jurisdiction of the institutions.

Inter alia, it is reported in the media that the Union Government is about to allow six Off Campus institutions to Deemed Universities, though these Universities have no jurisdiction anywhere other than their own campuses.

  1. The allegation of misuse of Off Campus system is founded on the prejudiced notion that there possibilities for commercialization and dilution of education in Off Campus stream. The authorities appear to be under the misconception that there are examination malpractices in Off Campus institutions. Regarding the expenses for undergoing studies in the Off Campus centre in Kuwait I can honestly tell that the expenses here are less, when compared with other educational institutions in Kuwait.

Regarding the alleged malpractices in Inter National Off Campus Centers I am of the view that there is a fool proof system which is capable of making malpractices well nigh a matter of impossibility. This is so because here the University examinations are conducted under the supervision of the Indian Embassy. The Chief Superintendent is invariably a high profile official from the Embassy, the Additional Superintendent is a senior Faculty of Mahatma Gandhi University or from colleges affiliated to the University and the Administrative Superintendent is one of the experienced Senior Staffers of the University.

  1. As mentioned earlier, the majority of students and aspirants here are originally from places which are well within the territorial jurisdiction of Mahatma Gandhi University. When the Indian Government is earnestly extending all succor to N.R.I’s and even seriously thinking about granting them the right to participate in elections, it is an unjust and untimely backtracking decision to close down the Off Campus Centre on flimsy and nonexistent grounds.
  2. Many of the Indians working in Kuwait have come here by depriving themselves of their academic advancement as they were forced to discontinue their studies in India to earn a livelihood in Kuwait. Off Campus Centers did provide them a chance to resume their education from the scratches.
  3. There are facilities for Indians here to pursue studies upto Plus Two level. Thereafter, especially for girl students, the chance for U.G/higher education is getting dim as the expenses are higher and that the educational institutions and their affiliations may be even bogus ones. Besides, the parents do not prefer to send the girl students to hostels of such not so reliable institutions.

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Statutory Warning!


Statutory Warning!

I was awaiting the digital announcement in the LED light box for the final call to board the Jet Air bound for Kuwait, at the ChatrapatiShivaji International Airport in Mumbai, which was scheduled to depart at 5.55 pm on 10th April, 2016. I had undergone the emigration procedure and checking in time. I had no stress to board the plane bound to Kuwait where I am deputed by my office to conduct examinations. The announcement flashed in digital lights and I shot up and joined the queue, in no time. The airport was in silent mode to reduce sound pollution. To my surprise I found myself the last one in the queue, despite all my vigilance.

We all moved slowly to the Jet Air and climbed up into the craft. It was quite a big one. There were small T.V’s (or Tabs?) in front of every seat. As usual the crew members, one male and the other female, beautifully and graciously performed their safety demonstration. I fastened the seat belt as the plane was about to take off. For the first time I was to travel beyond the barriers of my mother India. I saw the mansions, the skyward flats, and the slums beneath…The hell and the heaven mixed up….The beauty and ugliness of Mumbai was visible from the heights. The urban scenes gave way to blue waters. Yes, I was over the seas and I need just cross over it to reach the Gulf. The plane took a firm forward punch. The altitude was shown as above 10 K.M. The temperature was around minus fifty. All this was quite new  knowledge to me.

The plane appeared to have settled in regard to its altitude. It flashed fast, though it appeared motionless. I saw clouds moving past me. The earth with its greenery and waters was not visible to our naked eyes. The crew seemed in a hurry to finish their work early…A bonny, long, lean lass came through the alley, serving food. I just made a survey of the two passengers who had sat on my either side. The one on the left seemed to me having the mannerisms of a Keralite. To verify my surmise I asked him where he was from. His reply was in Trissur Malayalam. “ Sir, I am from Mala and my name is Biju”. Without any further introduction he asked me if I would take liquor. I said,” Once in a bluemoon, Yes…” “Sir, The girl serves liquor to passengers, Smirnoff, sir, Smirnoff!” he said. He went on to ask me if I was not taking liquor let him have my share too. On this I had my mind taking a U-turn. Though I was really not prepared to consume liquor, I began to rethink as and when he had asked for my share. I was not to let him have my share. “Nay man, I too want a peg”, I said. He helped me with getting the liquor with sprite. For the second time he went upto the crew girl with request for another peg…He had one peg in my name too. I gave him half of my second peg. I just drank it up in one motion…Mind my friends, I was without food quite for a long time. The liquor had begun to show its character. I was in hilarious mood. I and Biju began to talk louder. We shared our views; we had become friends as if of very long acquaintance. I was still sober to realize that liquor was the real socialist who had the power to merge gaps and inequalities in society. Had I and Biju remained there sans taking liquor, we would have kept our tongue-tied till the very end of the journey.

After liquor we were supplied with many other delicious dishes, the tastes of them were not felt exactly… There were the dessert, the salad of fruits and vegetables and beverages too. The liquor, the food, the Air Condition all had caused my brains to take a blissful sojourn in the lap of nap. The announcement for landing precautions roused me from the slumber. The plane touched the land with a big roaring din. I am about to land on a foreign land for the first time in my life! Immediately on arrival I went upto the queue to collect my luggage. I was there for one hour to reach the counter. When I reached there I was told to first get my VISA first. I went to collect the VISA and I got it stamped for immigration by the Kuwaity authorities. I had many doubts in my mind. Hesitantly I asked the Kuwaity woman in the counter regarding the next steps. The woman looked up with scorn and I think she had softly muttered, “out”. I had the first incident of humiliation on a foreign soil. I felt the same feeling as Gandhiji had felt at the Pretoria railway station when he was thrown out from the train because of being an Indian, a coloured man. For getting my luggage I had again to stand in the queue for yet another hour. By the time Mr. Tanveer who had come to the Airport got upset for not having any word from me. My friend Hareesh also was there.

I went out of the Airport which was never a match to the one in Mumbai. MrTanveer and Harish were together awaiting me and were relieved to see me. Harish gave me 100 Kuwaiti Dinar for incidental expenses as I had only Indian currency with me. I and Harish bade adieu with promise to meet in week-end. I went with Tanveer by car to my lodgings. As soon as I reached the room I had rushed into the bathroom to vomit whatever I had taken in the plane. The salad, the rice, the dessert, the beverages all went out. I thought I would die as never had I in my life vomited. As for me vomiting seemed impossibility prior to this. I vomited and vomited till nothing remained in my stomach. The nausea was there still. I was curious to see Mr. Tanveer off. He went out in confusion. I was relieved that now I could vomit unseen and unnoticed… Again and again I vomited. I felt penitent for taking the one and a half peg of Smirnoff. I could have given that to Biju. I did not give it to him maybe because I had a feeling that it was my rightful due and that I should not part with that. I was also learning from this experience that whatever was given for free or on discount should not be taken for granted unless and until I really was in need of it. The liquor alone might not have led to this plight; there could be other reasons too…

From the above narration you are not to have the misconception that I drink occasionally. Of course I do not drink occasionally. I drink only once in a blue moon! By this bitter experience with liquor I am further gone farther from liquor. The warning, ’liquor is injurious to health’ is not merely letters of ritualistic, statutory character; conversely it is literally true that liquor is really injurious to health. I am looking forward to a world sans liquor… Intoxication has to really come from within, from one’s own inner self, as everybody has the innate potential to experience the Spiritual Intoxication. You need just to allow the mind to avail the time for fermentation with patience. You will be rewarded.

EVER REWARDING FATE!


EVER REWARDING FATE!

If there is a desire there is bound to have a way to fulfill it. A desire shall never be allowed to tone up to the extremity of an infatuation. Even without getting to the disturbing level of obsession, I am endowed with the bounty I may not even deserve. I am given more than my due. I am not avaricious, though I do not hesitate to take whatever comes to me naturally. Others may term it as lack of direction, but I prefer to call it the faith in fate. I am patient and willing to wait for the opportune moment to fulfill my desires as and when they come by, one by one. With this patient waiting the fate rewards me chances slowly but surely. Fate is not an antagonist; conversely it is a protagonist, at least as for me. So you may ask the question, ‘then you have no role to play in your selection of choices (chances)?’ Yes, I do take the necessary steps as soon as the fate shows the all-important clue to proceed with the chance. I never show my back to the clue of fate. This has rescued me a lot from committing blunders, falling in pitfalls. This permanent, patient, alert, vigilant waiting for the clues of fate has rewarded me with umpteen opportunities as well.Hence, as for me fate is both corrective and progressive a force to reckon with, for accomplishing a fruitful life.

Going abroad and that too airborne had been my cherished dream for quite a long time. I have accidentally struck with the chance of going abroad by air. See the felicity of Fate in fetching me the coveted chance! I never snatch a chance from the hands of Fate; conversely chances are handpicked for me by fate from time to time. Lo! Listen to me for a while how the vicissitudes of Fate converge upon someone like me, in what all strange ways!!!In my office as I was searching for the examination results of the students, I came across the University order inviting willingness for deputation to international off campus centres to conduct examinations in the Gulf region. It was 4.15 pm, and that I had to personally hand over the willingness to the concerned office before 4.45. I got a print out and filled within no time, got the counter signature of my superior. Only 25 minutes to cover 10 K.M. It is not possible by bus. To my pleasant surprise I saw Somanathan Sir about to leave. I ran unto him and he showed great interest in taking me to the destination. Later my willingness got accepted and I was able to leave for Kuwait on 10th April 2016 from Cochin Airport at 9.05 am.

Lo! See me standing there in the majestic Cochin International airport sans any idea or knowledge about the etiquettes and formalities of air travel! Of course I had to yield to nervousnessa bit, the nervousness in the anticipation of the unknown. Fortunately, there was nothing untoward; the checking was hassle free and it passed off smoothly as the personnel there were all cordial. The transit from one counter to the other was so natural that I could not feel stress of any degree. As I had heard the final call to proceed to board the flight, my heart beat began to mount. After I got in it got subsided to normalcy. The safety demonstration of the crew was lively and gracious. It did make my mind calm. I fastened the belt. I expected I would be given cotton to stop my ears. But nothing happened. I was expecting some bitter nausea like experience during takeoff and while climbing up the burgeoning heights. Within a few minutes the plane was at an altitude of 3 K.M. After some time it climbed up to 7-8K.M. altitude. I checked with the temperature, it was below -3o. I was warned about the cloud collision, but fortunately I experienced none. To speak the truth I had no experience of air sickness and I found it a pleasurable experience altogether.

One more thing I have to tell. The Jet Air flight was not a direct one to Kuwait. It was a domestic one taking me first to Mumbai. In the meantime the crew member gave me breakfast with dish including sambar-vada, salad, tea, biscuits etc. I was prepared to take a peg, if it was for free…I did not see them provide liquor, anyhow. I found it too difficult to dine with fork and knife. Still somehow I could take food using them in a messy manner. The announcement for landing had resounded in my ears. The plane landed exactly at 11.05 a.m.with a thundering sound and it sped fast through the runway quite some distance. I was there at the ChatrapatiShivaji International Airport in Mumbai for the first time. It looked quite stupendous in size and looks. It was neat, silent and smooth to walk around. The connection flight was to take off only at 5.55 p.m. I was nervous about spending the long time and also about the emigration procedure. I left everything for fate but with constant vigilance on the clues emanating from the Goddess of Fate. The airport was so ravishing to the eyes that the time for the connection flight looked not enough to completely relish its grandeur. I spent the time in such a worthwhile and pleasant way that I could not even reach at the right time for checking and emigration clearance. I was ready and waiting curiously for my second journey on air and of course my maiden international areal excursion!

Anyone reading my post is likely to wonder why I attach this much importance to my maiden flight journey to a foreign country. The fact of the matter of attaching this much importance is thanks to the reality that unless I have travelled this time I would not have travelled abroad in the near future.  Now I believe that this is a good beginning that will take me to the better ends…I am patiently, vigilantly awaiting, listening to the clues of fate to avail the next bounty or to avert the next heartbreak as these clues could turn out to be the turning point in life.

 

PROTECTION OF WOMEN FROM VIOLATION OF SEXUAL AND REPRODUCTIVE RIGHTS WITH REFERENCE TO DOMESTIC VIOLENCE ACT OF 2005.


 

PROTECTION OF WOMEN FROM VIOLATION OF SEXUAL AND REPRODUCTIVE RIGHTS WITH REFERENCE TO DOMESTIC VIOLENCE ACT OF 2005.

Sex and Reproduction are two unique and inseparable facets of spousal relationship. They are one and the same, still as antonymous as between sea and the shore. They are mutually exclusive and inclusive like the two sides of the same coin. Sex is possible without reproduction; reproduction can be possible without sex, in the surge of new scientific inventions. Sex provides the natural impetus for reproduction. The two are intertwined and have inseparable connectivity pertaining to the health of the engaging partners. As health is a precondition for the quality of life as enshrined in Article 21 of the Constitution, the denial of the precondition conducive to attaining this right can be legally redressed through Constitutional remedies.

In matrimony impotency is a ground for divorce. But if a woman is denied sex due to the apathy of the husband, she has no choice to leave the matrimony. If she is denied the excitement of consummation during sex she has no remedy. This is too personal a matter for law to lay its hand on. Denial of sex to the spouse is indirect cause for the commencement of domestic violence. This is a case of emotional abuse which has serious ramifications in family life. If a man can keep his woman happy on bed he is assured of a peaceful home. As between a husband and a wife lack of sexual relations can lead to incidence of domestic violence. Sex is not a mere tool for reproduction as Sex is a rejuvenator of relationships.

Domestic Violence and Other Wrongs:

Domestic Violence is a standalone type of a wrong which evade\s a satisfactory, comprehensive, all-inclusive definition. The unique facet of DV is that it takes place in the intimate relationship, in the apparently safe shared household. Whereas other wrongs are perpetrated, maybe, by a stranger on another stranger. One occurs in the private sphere of life and the other in the public sphere of life. The State is more concerned about peace in society than peace at home.The state cannot allow the delinquent to have his capricious ways as it is disconcerting to the State. The State employs punishment to the sinner to promote deterrence and to have retribution to satisfy the victim. The other aspect is the need of rehabilitation of the offender as he cannot be allowed to freely roam in society. The protection of the victim appears to be the last priority of Criminal Law. The emphasis is on social control through correction, deterrence and retribution. The aim is social security and not the security of the victim alone.

Domestic violence cannot be called a singular, exclusive incident of violence of the perpetrator on the victim. It is a continual infliction of violence by manifold, unknown machinations. The crime of a stranger on another is punishable by law; but the same act if perpetrated by the husband on the wife could be qualified as a crime, is a moot point. Law can take its due course despite the fact that the offence has occurred within wedlock. The attitude of general Law is not gender sensitive to protect the woman. Hence the need and relevance of a gender sensitive law.

In reference to the issues of sexual and reproductive rights the occurrences wherein these rights are denied need not be singular. In wedlock a single incident of violence is condoned; the violence does not stop there. It is repeated in fresh cycles of violence. The woman is in utter helplessness and in a dilemma as to whether leave or not. The recurrence of violence is endemic in domestic relationships. There is no deterrence, no retribution , no correction, owing to nonreporting of the incident.

Forced Sex:

The wrong of marital rape does constitute a domestic violence in the Act of 2005 or in any of the Indian statute books. This discrepancy between the treatment of Law to the same act in two realms of human life, namely, Private and Public is discriminative and prejudicial to women. Though Indian Law does not treat forced sex as a wrong, the law on Human Rights has made inroads into the private sphere of life. The Law on Human Rights of course has got the voice of International Law criteria, and the same spirit is deeply engrained our Constitution in its Fundamental Rights.

When Sex is viewed from the angle of health rights it has umpteen diverse dimensions. Sex of course is a precondition for begetting progeny. Indian law on domestic violence has not criminalised forced sex or marital sex. That is, consent is not a legal requirement. In short, law condones or even permits rape if it is within matrimony. Invariably, the victim is the woman. The after-effects of rape within marriage and without marriage are differently apprehended by Indian law. Certainly this stance of Indian law may have its own unique reasons. Cultural relativism plays a role in the making of different criteria in the formulation of domestic violence in different national laws.  The same Indian law which takes unnatural sex as an offence even in marriage, though with consent, is strangely blind to the more heinous crime of marital rape. Though marital rape can be broadly termed sexual abuse, inflicting irreparable damage to the body and psyche of the victim, it has failed to figure in as a specific offence or wrong in any of the Indian statute book. If consent is not a prerequisite in marital sex, what right is left in marriage, as for women? This is a serious blemish on an otherwise spotless enactment. The grave denial of sexual and reproductive justice to women cannot be viewed just as a personal issue. It has to be taken to the human right jurisprudence, so that the private matter could be brought to the public dominion of human rights. Personal becomes political. Her predicament is not biologically determined, conversely it is socially determined.

The D.V Act is found ineffective and insufficient in protecting the reproductive rights of the woman in the shared household. Domestic Violence may be seen as men’s counter reaction to women’s ever-growing yearning for emancipation from the oppression of home as men want women to remain tied to their domestic prison called home. If a woman challenges the patriarchal order by venturing out of the shared household in a nonconforming outlook, she will be indicted by society as misguided beings who have sacrificed life for success.

Woman’s status in Adultery vis-a-vis Marital rape: Glaring illustration of denial of sexual rights:

Woman is an object and Man is the subject. In S.497 of IPC the husband of the woman who has abetted adultery is entitled to proceed against the man who has committed adultery with his wife. Woman is here denigrated as property or  chattel of the husband who is the master or the owner. If the property called wife is stolen by another man, the latter could be nabbed on a complaint by the owner of the property, the husband. This is a clear indicator to the patriarchal attitude of law. The same attitude is seen expressed in the case of marital rape. The violence perpetrated by the husband is not weighed in terms of propriety or neutrality and criminality as the married woman is an asset owned by the husband for his exclusive enjoyment and possession. The (lack of)law on marital rape and the law on adultery are violative of the sexual rights of married women as victim and abettor, respectively. The woman is not held as a human, but only as property of men for his possession and enjoyment. As a property she has no right of her own. The abettor woman in adultery is not liable because the owner of the property has to continue with the possession of the property. The abettor woman is set free not because of the gender sensitive law but for certain patriarchal reasons. In a country where justice is administered to women as if she were a property under the ownership of men cannot guarantee the sexual and reproductive rights of women.

Right to Healthcare and Addiction:

Smoking is injurious to health; passive smoking is more injurious to health. The victims of passive smoking are the members of the family, those who are intimate to the smoker. He is exposing his wife and children to health hazards, with no fault of theirs. The bad effects of smoking are harmful to the reproductive health of the woman and the safety of the foetus inside.

Consumption of alcohol is another grave menace to the peaceful ambience of family. The intoxicated condition alone cannot be branded as the very reason for violence. Alcohol is but the stimulant to externalise the internal attitude of the perpetrator. The alcoholic husband can cause fatal injuries to the woman and children leading to the denial of reproductive justice of the woman in unseen, umpteen ways.

Personal Law and Domestic Violence:

Prevalence of Personal Law is a threat to application of general law in family law matters. Religion and culture are too blended to separate one from the other. Personal law is the customs, rules of the respective religion, imbued with the status of law. The rights and duties of men and women in family life are governed by personal law. The rites of marriage, the prerequisites, inheritance, divorce, adoption etc, of the people of one religion can be different from the people of another religion. Cultural relativism is the harmful outcome of personal law. The desired unique uniform civil code is upset by the overemphasis on personal law. Consequent on the prevalence of personal law, the issues concerning (eg. Bigamy, divorce) family matters could be distinct from one person to the other depending on the religion he or she belongs to.

The national as well as the international stakeholders are in two minds as to whether it is appropriate to apply uniform civil code or to maintain the culture, customs and usages of personal law in order to protect the identity of every culture, to stop invasion of minority rights , etc, As a consequence of personal law and the orthodox customs embedded in it the women are made to suffer. This is so because the personal law is based on religious rules, age old customs and usages which are patriarchal. Under the influence of religion women have to turn pregnant against their will as victims of marital rape. This repeated, recurrent pregnancy of the woman becomes a real threat to her health. Not only the woman, but the progeny too is disregarded and ignored, giving way to a new generation without health or wealth. In this context it is apt to voice support for a uniform civil code for the overall progress of the nation in general and the women in particular.

Mutilation of female genital parts is another incidence of damaging the sexual and reproductive health of the women.Under the adverse influence of religion women are denied right for abortion. As a consequence of recurrent occurrence of pregnancy and child birth followed by child care the women are always at the receiving end. Anyhow, the Indian DV Act is succour to women who are reeling under the tribulations perpetrated by their life partners on them due to the respective personal law. In India women are misguided by men to the degree that they are made to think that religion is higher than their own health rights. Under this ploy the women victims turn a blind eye to the protections of the DV Act and take recourse in the orthodox personal law remedies which are patriarchal. Unless women take the initiative to safeguard their rights through DV Act by eschewing the personal law, women will have to lie low suffering from the patriarchal personal laws. 

Three fold Encumbrance.

A woman in wedlock has to engage three fold responsibilities viz. of a house-wife, mother and a worker. On the other hand her male counterpart is not to share the responsibilities of the household. She is reeling under the yoke of maternity, menstruation, pregnancy, household work, professional hardwork. As a consequence she becomes a physical wreck. The bitterest experience for her is the apathy of her mate. She has no rest even at a time when rest is inevitable for her very existence. In joint family households rest was compulsorily imposed on her during menstruation. Though this is held by us as an orthodox Hindu custom, in real life terms this period of rest was for her a blessing in disguise. Now the woman of today has no respite anywhere, any time for any exigent reason.

The home is often the place of masculine domination in which men expect the women’s labour to secure the peace they crave. The terms for an ideal home are fixed by his standards. Women are blamed by men for not meeting his standards in maintaining an ideal home. Her standards, health rights, preferences are ignored.The pretext of biological determinism has been employed to tie women to domestic responsibilities. In reality, the inferiority of women is socially constructed rather than biologically determined. This factum can be verified and explained by real life social situations where the degree of inferiority is a variable from society to society. Women’s disabilities are enforced and not biological or natural. The world is Male and the Woman is the ‘other. (de Beauvoir, 1949).Her socially determined burdens and the biologically determined duties have made women incapable of playing a vital role in public life. Her entry in public life is discouraged by men with allegations of misguided conduct. Her domestic services remain unpaid. Her role in procreation, protection, rearing of the offspring goes unrewarded by society. Instead of rewarding women, the patriarchal society is victimising her as she is perpetually subjected to gender violence in a shared household.

What de Beauvoir said about women’s plight in 1949 holds good to contemporary India. Humanity is man. He is the essential and she the incidental; he the main, she the subsidiary or the relative. The life in private sphere becomes explicit in public life. The tribulations of women in one sphere are transferred to the other and vice versa. That is why the author had said, ‘personal becomes political’. The personal ordeal of a woman in a shared household is reflected to the political or public sphere of life through the introduction of Human Right law which does not labour under cultural relativism. Its appeal, content and spirit are couched in universal language.

In short, the three fold tribulations of women have consequently degraded them to a physical wreck, totally and adversely jeopardizing her health. This has exacerbated their sexual and reproductive life, meting out abject injustice usurping the very fundamental rights of human existence. 

Lack of toilet facility:

The Government and its administrative machineries are lukewarm in addressing the issues faced by women in respect of menstruation. Toilets are not there in adequate numbers. Houses are not bath or toilet attached. This has raised serious concerns of health and hygiene hazards in the reproductive life of women. In the backdrop of absence or inadequate toilet facility women are forced to store urine in bladder to harmful levels. This, therefore, is a clear case of denial of sexual and reproductive rights. Society or the Government was patriarchal in approach towards the life and death tribulations of woman’s life. Only now the Government and the society have risen to the need of the hour to have toilets in every home, with the new impetus given to cleanliness through the movement National Swachchata Mission. The recent incident of suicide by a girl due to lack of toilet at home shows how critical this issue is for a woman and her self-respect. The absence of toilet in the shared household is essentially to be considered a gender abuse under the law of domestic violence. Marriage of a woman to a household where there is no toilet facility must be checked by law by making toilet facility a precondition for marriage.. This grave issue does not find a specific, deserving mention in the DV Act of 2005.

Domestic Violence: Standpoint of Law.

In a society where everything is patriarchal it is not reasonable to expect something unique from Law. Presumably and explicitly Law is neutral. Bizarrely it is addressing exclusively and essentially the Male. The dichotomy between explicit and implicit is suggestive of hypocrisy. Hence law is an imposter in reference to its proclaimed objectivity, rationality and impartiality. Undoubtedly and unfailingly the reasonable man of Law rules out women from its ambit. In other words, the generic reference to law is Male. Women’s fate is adjudged by standards set by men for men. Men are subjects of law and women its victims. Woman is still invisible to Law as law looks at women with the same standards as it looks at men. Law is made by men as a result of gender inequality in public life. Every administrative and academic branch of Law is governed by men and their patriarchal outlook. A woman’s life is regulated by law, religion and social policy. The paradox about gender justice is that the victim’s fate is adjudged by her very oppressor. Hence her autonomy is a fiction. Grave issues of women are mainly within the spheres of intimate shared household and they still remain largely unregulated by law.

The failure of law to address the issues of women was mainly due to its patriarchal outlook and its generic reference to male. As for law woman was nonexistent. The solution to this problem is introduction of gender sensitive law both in public and private spheres of life. The Domestic Violence Act of 2005 is a humble beginning in this direction. Dowry Protection Act of 1961 was followed by introduction of Section 498 A and Section 304 B in Indian Penal Code. All theses enactments indicate a steady progression of law towards gender sensitive laws, especially to protect women from domestic violence perpetrated on them in the intimate relationships of a shared household.

Constitutionality of Gender Sensitive Domestic Violence Law:

Right to equality is guaranteed by the Indian Constitution in Articles 14-18. Article 15(1) commands, ‘the State shall not discriminate against any citizen on grounds of only on religion, race, caste, sex, place of birth or any of them. The principle of equality before law is a necessary corollary of ‘rule of law’. This mandate of equality which is but non-discrimination has enlarged the scope of Article 14.

Inter alia, it is striking to note that the Supreme Court while commenting on S.497(Adultery) of IPC, ‘….Articles 14 and 15 taken together validate the sentence of S.597, which prohibits a woman from being punished as an abettor of the offence of adultery.’[1]It is strange that the abettor under S.497 and the victim under S. 498 A of IPC are protected by this Constitutional provisions, though under different jurisprudence. The PWDVA of 2005 is held by Delhi High Court as ‘class legislation’ by upholding the Constitutional validity of the Act.[2]

The Constitution enjoins upon the State to make special provisions for women in prohibiting discrimination on grounds of sex. Besides the fact of the neutrality of law is a myth and only gender specific laws can protect the woman victim from domestic violence. In the privacy of a shared household Articles 21 and 14 find a place in order to protect the woman victim of domestic violence through ratifying the international instruments on Human Rights Law by the national government. It is no longer inappropriate to introduce the Constitution in the home.[3]

 

 

[1] Yusuf Abdul Aziz V. State of Bombay, AIR 1954, SC 321.

[2] Aruna Pramod Shah V Union of India, Writ Petition (Crl) 425/2008.

[3] Delhi High Court in Harvinder Kaur V. Harminder Singh,( AIR 1984, Del 66) had voiced discontent on introduction of Constitution in the home.

TOLERANCE.


Microsoft Word gives synonyms for Tolerance: easiness, patience, charity, forbearance, acceptance, lenience, open-mindedness, and broad-mindedness. If we search for individual synonyms of these synonyms of Tolerance we get on verge of exhaustion. The varied meaning of the same word is staggering and astounding to any amount of human perception. In such a bizarre context I have to listen to the voice from within, that of wisdom to make a judicious choice irrespective of the given synonyms.

Tolerance is often termed as a virtue. In the teachings of Buddha and Gandhiji   we are amply familiar with the term. These great teachers or philosophers have used the term with a thrust on its positive facet. According to them Tolerance is well nigh Love or Ahimsa. In spite of all the Gandhian, Buddhist positivism, I am stuck, I am held back to its appeal of negative indifference. The negative dilemma posed by the noun may be closely affiliated to its verb form, namely, Tolerate. Though I am reluctantly assenting to the positive content of Tolerance I cannot agree with the positive content in its verb form, Tolerate.

Inescapably sticking to the negative indifference of the term, Tolerate, I have too many misgivings of the term, Tolerance. In the light of this, can tolerance, therefore, be equated with easiness?  Isn’t Tolerance an uneasy affair? When do we tolerate? Of course it has something to do with patience. It may be charity to forebear accepting reality as such, as there is no other go. How can we be lenient while we show tolerance as tolerance springs from incapability to react or inevitability of the context? In short, Tolerance is the net product of inaction, incapability, timidity, negative desire for status quo. The peace we arrive at from tolerance is the peace of the graveyard. It is short lived.

I am haunted incessantly by the negativity of the term, Tolerate, whenever I am occupied with the thought of Tolerance. I may have tolerance with someone who is not too dear to me. I just tolerate the snoring co-passenger; I just tolerate my short tempered superior. But can you say that you have just tolerated the naughty conduct of someone like your own kid who is so close to your heart. Our concern for them springs from the positive feeling of love. We tolerate conduct or undesirable actions maybe because we are incapacitated to react; whereas we just enjoy even the misconduct of our dear ones; there we are not tolerating due to incapability. We are capable and we are superior enough to take action against the naughty conduct; still we allow the naughtiness to prolong just because we love the doer. Hence tolerance is a term which is opposite to love because the misconduct is allowed to continue not because of some positive feeling, but just due to inability. Actually we hate the doer and the act done equally though we are incapable to react against either. Despite our hatred to the doers and their actions we do not give vent to our feelings.

Hence if you say you tolerate your wife, it insinuates that you are just unable to stop her from the undesirable behavior; so you only ‘adjust’ with her conduct as there is no positive feeling of love. Marriage is often a sad story of mutual tolerance. Mutuality is seen only in adjustments and not in love. You scratch my back and I will scratch yours is the attitude. If no mutual scratching, the marital story could abruptly end in a fiasco. Tolerance, therefore, is a more polished substitute for the pragmatic, viable term ‘adjustment’ though it is never on equal footing with sublime Love. The more you tolerate, the less you love, that is the more you tolerate the more you really hate; There may be an internal sea of anger waving in your mind, against the evil-doer. The pent up feeling is more harmful to the aggrieved than the very expression of it.

Tolerance is a sleeping volcano; it has the latent tendency or potential to erupt any time. Tolerance is there because inaction, indifference, incapacity  have hushed up the intolerance within.  Hence without you are tolerant and within you are boiling with intolerance. And if you put a question which one is desirable in a society where co-existence is inevitable….Better tolerate than and not to become intolerant as the latter would lead to violence. I opined so especially in the matter of tolerance of religions and faiths…Let us tolerate for the general good of the nation, if you cannot love your neighbor as thyself…It is all a matter of priorities. If your love for the country holds a higher rung on the ladder of priorities, other issues become personal and your patriotism will remain unaffected by your other identities of religion, caste, sex, age, etc….

DREAM OF LOVE.


I wish I were there with you!
Without speech, motionless
Let me lie unseen, unnoticed
I will even hold my breath
Without a word I’ll lie supine
Without heartbeat I’ll lie by you
Lest I may awake you…


Lo! I mount the winged chariot
Speeding in lightning flight

Reaching your inviting cot!!!
Ya ya ya feel I now your breath
Feel I your smell, your sweat
I wish I had a spot fixed in your
Core where love sensuous meets
Love selfless and remain intact

For ever, for ever and for ever!!!

MY MOM, MY GRANDSON.


Mom was away from home with her daughter for two days. Her absence was necessitated because my elder daughter had got admitted for delivery. There was nobody at home to look after during the days of our absence at home. Mom was ill too. She could not walk even with the help of the walker. I was really overwhelmed with the fact of my daughter’s delivery. I had many expectations. I am reasonably satisfied with the way my two daughters have progressed in their curricular and extra-curricular activities. Many of my own ambitions could not be reached due to my own laziness or procrastination. I wanted these unfulfilled desires being realized my children. Most of them were achieved my own offspring. Still there are some outstanding ones. I am, therefore, curious, eager in having a grandchild, preferably a male child.
You may wonder a man like me becoming gender discriminative. As for me I do think there are justifiable reasons too. As you know that I am having two daughters. My brother and sister also having only daughters. …so ours is an all-woman family. Hence dear my friends, I have a longing for a male child. I want to enjoy walking with the new member as and when he grows up…wanna achieve all my desires which were not attained by me or my children. I want to see perfection of my unfulfilled dreams though it is through generations, while I am alive. I also want to know the life with a male child, the way he grows up, etc. The periodical outburst of womenfolk owing to their biological compulsions have been too disconcerting to stand with. The man can be understood only by another man, his priorities, problems…No man can enter into a woman’s mind and can he really know about her exact problems….It is true, vice versa too. The views of man about woman and those of a woman about a man are imperfect, prejudiced. When I had got a son-in-law I was happy and Lo!!! I am happier now…Yes my Arya has given birth to a male babe!!!
In the beginning I told you about my mother’s absence at home. You may not know how much she is attached to my Arya. I did want my mom to see a glimpse of her grand grand son, even before I had had a glimpse of him. Unfortunately she had to wait. Now Arya is at home, discharged yesterday from hospital. She too is unhappy in not having her grandma at home. Quite to the surprise of everyoneelse she has come to us earlier than expected. My sister could not disallow her appeals to take her to see the new born babe. The first meeting, the converging, merging of the two diverging generations was indeed an emotional feast to the mind. My mom seemed over-excited to see the babe…she made a quaint remark too…’ the babe really takes after me, he looks like me.’ I have no words to explain my joy to see their union.
Though my mom herself is happy, I am not happy to see her with all her locomotion suspended. There is joy to see the child urinate, excrete; but when I see the same with my mom, there are tear drops, trickling down my cheeks….

I have to see to the joy and the grief…I have to take care and cater to both….Life is an inextricable blend of the old and the new; rising and setting; sorrow and joy….I have to live up with those experiences, irrespective of its characteristics. Yes, I have to look after my mom….Incidentally, it is Mother’s Day ….

A FEMININE NONCONFORMIST EXPEDITION.


Journeys are always abound in experiences. Experiences are essential stimulants to creativity. Creativity need not be basically a truthful account of reality. A pinch of imaginative untruth is made an essential ingredient to sharpen the pungency of the emotional punch. This episode is from the days of train journeys I had made at some point of my life. As a beginner I felt it boring to hear the wild laughter, silly talks (even obscene) of other daily rail commuters. I was searching for some interesting pastures which would enthuse me. I tried with reading; but that did not cater to my desires. I found myself alone in the midst of the maddening crowd. I could not go beyond my limited self. I was encircled by my own complexes. I was totally overtaken by my ego. The consequence of ego, of course, is unhappiness, loneliness. I was there in the prison I had made for myself.
Days and weeks went on in this unfriendly pitch. One day I saw a woman sitting opposite to me reading some magazine. She looked a woman of intellegenzia having a learned look. The woman appeared like somewhere in her mid forties. I repositioned myself to have a better and clearer view of her. He noticed all my moves, though sat as if unaware of it. I used to board the same bogie where she used to travel. She was as firm as Himalaya. I sat expecting the melting of the Himalayan snow. It could be a Himalayan task to climb the Everest of love. I deliberately chose to sit or stand near to her on all days. She just kept on reading, totally unmindful of my approaches.
Almost two months went by without any advances or turnarounds. I tried to muster up courage to speak….words muttered one by one, “where do you work?” Hearing my shivering voice, she removed the book positioned permanently before her face….and replied…” I do not work. I am a freelance writer, a journalist….I write, work for women in distress.” With these words she retired to her book in a casual way. Her reply had only multiplied my curiosity. A thousand questions throttled my mind. The commuters sitting beside and opposite to me seemed to be sympathetic ( or scornful) with my predicament.
In order to relieve myself from the tension I stood up leaving the seat to the senior citizen who had been weighing his full body on to me. A familiar face, a daily commuter came to me and whispered, “ sir, she is a feminist. She thinks every man is sex-hungry. All men are there only to harass women. It is better to keep away from her for the sake of self-respect and health. Mind she is a single too.” I was already upset emotionally since some of the people there had already understood my unenviable situation. If I asked another question there could be some violent physical response on her part.
I with the corner of my eye cast a timid look at her. She gestured me to take the seat adjacent to her, which had fell vacant by then. I with a vacant mind filled up the vacancy. I felt a fish out of water. She went on reading. I wanted to see what sort of a book she had been reading all the way. The book was not of any serious overtones, it was just a commonplace novel. I thought whether her looks were deceptive. I never expected that she had been reading light stuff. Was she a silly, light stuff intellectually too? Was she just another woman?
Next day too I entered the same bogie where she was travelling. I sat opposite to her. She just cast a bitter look at me, not appreciating my deliberate seat selection. I wanted to know more about her life, work, relatives etc. I asked a few personal questions concerning her whereabouts. Initially she was patient enough to reply, but only with minimum words. She looked morose, moody with full of indignation against the whole world. She closing the book, she turned to me and entreated,” let me complete the book, it is far too interesting than your inquisitive personal questions. Women are not that weak. They are better humans. They have the potential to do anything. You men are preventing women like us to grow and live freely. If I live a free life you men you brand us as immoral and calling it deviant conduct. Just a while ago you had the courage to ask about my marital status….Yes man, I am unmarried. I have the free air blowing around me. I enjoy life. I may not be able to indulge in conventional marital sex. Let go. I have other freedoms which are far more sublime and valuable.”
Those words were uttered against the patriarchal masculine conduct of Indians in general and of Keralites in particular. Everything for us had come down to the level of hypocrisy. Our morality has roots in lack of opportunity, that is, we are doing moral policing because we are jealous of others who enjoy. Morality is a fake hypocrisy. I was an uncomfortable man in the train, the next day. I saw her sitting like a cool customer….and Lo! To my utmost bewilderment I saw a handsome young man sharing jovial company with her. Everyone had misgivings, cast aspersions on them. I tried my best to think differently from others. Still I was jealous for the young man, but I did not raise my moral heavy hand to smother the blooming flower of love. Love between man and woman is naturally poised to lead to sex. As for me sex is not sin, as far as there is no remorse later on..Whatever is done half-heatedly, in two minds, with pricked conscience is sin. Whatever you do wholeheartedly, single-mindedly, with a conscience unpreturbed by qualms is no sin at all. Hence play on sans scruples, sans fears, sans remorse….An otherwise innocent act becomes a sin from the moment you feel penitent and think that the act was contemptible.

I am, in this mood, reminded of the Biblical reference to original sin. That was a foolish thought….dooming humans in perpetual hurt conscience due to the belief that sex was sinful.  We see the same foolish misconception that every sin is purged off with penitent confession. In my view, remorseful confession worsens the blemish of sin…. an act is overshadowed by the attribution of sin consequent on penitent confession.

The Hindu belief of Karma as it is delivered by Lord Krisna in Bhagavat Gita is entirely different and more action oriented. It exhorts Arjuna never to give up the fight. It is the duty of a Ksatriya to fight. Fighting is his nature. He has to fight without diffidence, wholeheartedly. Remorse shall not come in the way of resolute action. Bhagavat Gita had come into reality with a mission to make the doer confident and single-minded in his actions, to do the duty without the desire of the fruits. Arjuna would have fought war even without Bhagavat Gita….but rather diffidently. An action done in diffidence need not give desired results. Krisna Knew that. Hence he delivered Gita to instill new life and confidence in Arjuna in order to make him confident in his actions….

FINE LINE SEPARATING REALITY FROM DREAM….


The bus halted with a shrieking sound. I looked around to see why there was delay. Some vehicles parking on both sides of the road had well nigh blocked the road. I alighted from the bus as I thought it would take some time to extricate the stagnant motor flow. The house on the right side of the road had a gathering of a couple of dozen people. The cars on the road outnumbered the people in the house. I was agitated to know that a small private function in a house had caused all the havoc. For us it has been a matter of pride to cause traffic blockade even for the silliest event. I was itching to speak out my pent up feelings against the people who had assembled there. Mustering up courage I went into the gate, reached out the courtyard where men and women were partying.
I wanted to shout at them….but there I saw a girl, nay a woman, clad like a bride sitting there amidst others in royal elegance. I could not believe my eyes….I shuddered back in utter disbelief. It was that girl who was for me once more than my life. She sat there in her celestial, blissful innocence, sans raising her countenance. I stood there for a while in a nonplussed condition. Within moments of uneasiness of giddiness I regained my senses to recognize that the girl was about to step foot into the new phase+ of her life. I was both happy and unhappy to see her getting married. Happy because after all her bitter experience from me she had come to the right decision; unhappy that she is losing for good. I was already married, still I did not like to see her married to another man.
In spite of all the sea of commotion waving in my mind I was able to remain unnoticed by others. Nobody could feel the presence of a stranger, though it was a small gathering. As the girl still remained motionless in her royal coyness, there arrived the Prince of the day. He alighted from his posh car with his mom and dad. The very sight of the man had suffocated my whole being. He was my class mate, nay, our classmate. We three were together in our P.G. classes. He was with her from her school days. He had got such a lng standing relationship with her, which had now consummated into a wedlock. I ws an exasperated man to see all this, rather unexpectedly. I am an uninvited person, a lone traveler waiting at the periphery to view the heartbreaking nuptial ceremony.
I was to him an invader to his dreams right from the word go. There was venom in his mind reserved for me. He was about to avenge me by marrying the girl I once had deeper relationship. If he saw me what would happen, I had no idea. The lady, the first love of my love, in the mean time, cast a glance ith the corner of her eyes, besieging me to go away without creating a scene. I was a mad man by then, did not heed to her earnest appeals. My friend, the groom sat near my erstwhile love. They exchanged lovely, glances; they smiled; they almost caressed. I was boiling with passion to see all this. For a while, I forgot everything about myself, that I was married…that I had been a liar and a cheat to her…. And that again I was poking my head to make her life worse.
I looked around to see whether there were any one who could recognize me. I was shocked to see a few of my classmates standing around me, as if to get hold of me if I acted foolishly. At this juncture I took the decision to retract. While I was about to do so I saw my bridegroom friend giving some instructions to a confidant classmate of his. No sooner than that a few strong men got hold of me forcefully. I began to shake them off with all might…in the process I almost gave out a wild roar of anguish and anger.
By then I heard the coarse voice of someone who has been there with me for quite a long time. She had come out of her sound sleep… Nay, she was awakened by my loud roar of anguish and anger. I was found myself lying flat on the floor, sweating feverishly. My wife was upset to hear me roar and see me taking a wild plunge from the cot to the flat floor. She asked me in agony, “what was that dear? What had really happened? She almost had a fear that I was about to have a massive cardiac arrest. The night was longer as there was no more sleep possible for me. I hugged her closer to me and almost wept.
In the morning freshness I tried to rethink what had really happened last night… Was it a dream? Was there a speck of reality behind that. Not in my memory, not in this life of mine. Then why such a nightmare now, I wondered. As usual I set out to my office through the same place where the drama dream sequence had taken place. There I saw a house, but a bigger one. There was a huge gathering. A marriage is going to be solemnized there soon. Good sense advised me not to get down, but emotion prevailed over wisdom. I got down, went into the courtyard. There I saw a middle-aged woman standing there with her husband. Their daughter was getting married. I was ushered into the reception like a V.I.P. Who was that woman? The girl of yesterday’s nightmare had turned a middle-aged woman? I stared at her husband…Was he my my villai, the classmate…… I was totally confused. I wanted to get out and to get lost into the crowd bustling to enter into the feast hall.